Want to know one of the ways that shows how a man nurtures? Ask him what he cooks. Note that I didn’t say, “Ask him if he can cook.” If he can’t cook at all or doesn’t know how, and you’re considering him as a partner in a meaningful relationship, you might want to think twice about it. Cooking, in essence, is nurturing. A person who cooks is providing sustenance for another person. If he can’t cook, ask him how he has survived into adulthood. Ask him how he was fed, who he fed along the way and how he fed them. It’s great that someone who earns a good living can afford to take a woman to amazing restaurants, but sometimes that’s kind of a cheat. True, he provided the meal, but he didn’t prepare it and he didn’t present it.
What a man cooks holds some importance. First of all, a real man knows how to cook more than one thing, just as it’s important, on the most basic of levels, that a man knows how to nurture in more than one way. If he can cook only one thing and the woman in his life happens to not like that dish, then what? Some men will give up and become frustrated that the one thing he can do isn’t working for him with his woman. But a true man will be open to finding out what she likes and how she likes it, and then will learn how to provide her the nurturing that she wants in the ways that are meaningful to her.
Secondly, what a man cooks is important in another regard: how long does it take to prepare and how much effort goes into the preparation? If everything a man cooks is something quick, easy and doesn’t take a lot of time or thought to prepare and it’s something he can just throw together, this may be symbolic of his approach to nurturing his woman. Will his nurturing of you be something quick and easy for him, something that doesn’t require forethought or time or preparation or regard? A mature man is not intimidated by or shies away from doing things that take time, concentration, care and attention to detail. He can take as much time as it takes to get it just right, to get it just so that it pleases you the most, just so it puts that smile on your lips and pulls that longing from your heart because you want him to keep doing things with you, for you and to you that are done in the same thoughtful, careful and loving ways.
While what a man cooks is very important, let’s look at the underlying factors that make it important. What a man cooks is the “product.” How a man cooks is the “process.”
Process is vital. Things that take time, care, real effort and focus, will likely translate into him taking that kind of time and care to provide for and please you in other areas. Someone who doesn’t cook, only eats out, or is always relying on someone else to cook for and feed him, may not be all that enthusiastic or competent about pleasing someone else. That kind of self-focused, “give-me-what-I-want-and-you-get-yours-yourself” tendency may suggest a level of selfishness that will keep him getting his needs met exclusively and not making much effort to meet yours.
If you really want to find a man who’s nurturing, ask him what he bakes. Baking is a level above cooking. Cooking can be seen as providing what a person needs to survive, while baking can be viewed as doing something extra, something that’s not just necessary to survive, but is something special; a real treat for the intended recipient. Baking is also special because not every man does it. You might find quite a few men who cook, but likely not many who bake. When you find someone who can do both, you’re like in for a treat that is both nurturing and satisfying.